The Devil Went Down to Georgia

A few Friday's ago I get an e-mail message from the CFO that said to call her.  This caused an immediate sinking in my gut.  The CFO is a major bitch, which I assume is a standard characteristic for individuals who are responsible for such large sums of money.  Don't get me wrong, I neither dislike or like her, but I do respect her and I think that she does an excellent job.  So, I immediately call her, sinking feeling and all because that is what I am supposed to do.

The ensuing conversation was quite unexpected and pretty unbelievable.  She began by telling me that she wanted to let me know that she appreciates all I do for the college and that she thinks I am very bright and that I everything that I do is in an effort to better the college.  We talked for a few more minutes and she ended by saying that she was proud of me.  To say the least, I was stunned.

This all started several months ago when I came across a grant opportunity that I was interested in writing a proposal for.  The problem?  No one writes grants except for our grant writer.  I mentioned the opportunity to my boss and she told me to e-mail the CFO.  I did and never heard anything back.  A couple of months went by...the deadline for the grant proposal approaching and still no interest from the CFO or the grant writer.  I mention it again to my boss and she tells me to e-mail the CFO and cc the grant writer, which I did.  I finally got a bite.

Honestly, I didn't think that anything would ever come of it.  The deadline was so near and we had done so little, but we started working on it and the grant writer and the CFO seemed very pleased with my eagerness to actually help with the process and the research that I am capable of doing.  Luckily the deadline got pushed back by 90 days so we now have longer to write a more decent proposal that will still be a miracle if we get funded.  Never-the-less, it apparently made an impression on the CFO.

In the meantime we have been busy closing out the year on another grant and I somehow was able to work out a very meager raise for one of my staff members.  Although it was very meager and a lot of it is funded under the grant, I had to argue my case (to the CFO and my boss).  In the end, it was approved and although it isn't a lot, it made me feel good because besides the fact that it was much needed, I think it was also much appreciated.  I have to mention that this is the second raise that I was able to work; the first was for a faculty member that is partially funded by the same grant. 

Fast forward to today.  I get another e-mail message from the CFO - "call me".  Ugh.  Sinking feeling in my gut...is she pissed because I argued this raise for one of my staff members?  I call.  She asks me how I like our Friday phone chats...I tell her that if the one today is like the last one we had then I don't mind them.  She says that this one will be better and tells me that she has been looking at some things and she thinks that I deserve a little raise of my own.  Also very meager, but MUCH appreciated.  I was stunned.

Although I am very appreciative of what she is doing, I can't help but be disturbed by a few things.  My first, instinctive feeling, is that I am making a deal with the devil.  My second thought is that I am pissed that this woman, who is not even my boss, is the one who is giving me accolades when it should be my immediate supervisor.  Don't get me wrong, the appreciation that I have for the CFO is beyond words because when it gets right down to it, I think that she is trying to be fair, a quality that my immediate supervisor definitely lacks.  Probably, most importantly, I am disturbed because there are others in faculty positions who deserve a raise much more than I do.  I can't help, but shake my head at this.  And now I am becoming a part of it.  Deal with the devil, indeed.